We all have that bullying voice inside our heads, don’t we? The one that whispers—sometimes SHOUTS—“You’re not enough” .... "Who do you think you are trying this?".... "This won't work for you".... "You are just kidding yourself!" ...."People will think you're dumb doing this" or "You are out of your league!! How do you overcome this inner critic and imposter syndrome?
Your imposter syndrome is sneaky, often showing up in the moments when you most need encouragement, courage, empowerment, and clarity. If you’re an entrepreneur, a manager, a leader, or an artist, you know exactly what I’m talking about because every time you try something new... it shows up.
It tries to make us feel like we don’t belong, that our voice doesn’t matter, that we aren't qualified, that someone else out there is more qualified, more talented, prettier, skinnier, smarter, younger, or more deserving.
Our imposter syndrome doesn’t just sit quietly in the corner of our minds; it seeps into the way we communicate. Because how we "think" or "believe" affects how we speak.
As entrepreneurs, it can make us second-guess our pitches, water down our messaging, or makes us hold back from sharing bold ideas. As managers or leaders, it might cause us to over-explain, seek excessive validation, or shy away from tough conversations. For artists, it shows up in the hesitancy to share our "real" work, afraid it won’t be “good enough” or won't be "liked"--or maybe you won't be seen as a "real artist". We get stuck in fearing what "THEY" will think.
This self-doubt is like a fog that clouds our ability to connect with others and with our own creative self.
It holds us back from speaking with the confidence and the authenticity that makes people stop, listen and care about what we're saying or doing. When we’re consumed by imposter syndrome, our words often reflect more power stealing emotions like fear and even shame, rather than conviction. The imposter syndrome infects us with shame around even thinking we could accomplish or attempt our vision or speak our truth. Instead of sharing our vision with clarity, we hesitate or hide behind the safe and familiar.
But here’s the thing: your voice and vision matter. Your ideas, your art, your leadership—these are gifts, and the world needs them. Who cares if some people don't agree or don't "like" what you create. Not everyone likes fruit cake....actually some HATE it, but that doesn't stop the makers of fruit cake, because 2 million are sold every year in the US alone. The truth is, NOTHING is created that is 100% accepted, no one is perfectly prepared, and no one has it all figured out.
"Most are just winging it and even the so-called experts admit they don't know everything and at times are just taking wild guesses on what to do next. I've learned this firsthand with 20 years in public relations and dealing with company crisis and missteps. So don't assume the ones that are at the top of their game have things 100% figured out."
Yet, our inner villain makes us feel like we must be perfect, know everything before we start, and create something that everyone will like or agree with, otherwise, we'll look stupid or be stupid for trying. Of course, the imposter syndrome excels at horrible advice and beliefs. The problem is, when it controls you, it means you believe it.
Where Does Imposter Syndrome Come From?
There are a million opinions on where our imposter syndrome comes from, why we have it, and how to get rid of it. But and this is the big BUT....you can't get rid of it completely. Many have spent years in therapy, reading books, taking courses, and going on retreats trying to figure this one out.
The problem is even successful people who seem to have everything, still have that nagging negative voice trying to pull them down and steal their power. So even success and money doesn't get rid of it.
I have seen it in my clients who are professional performers, CEOs, and even my rich and famous clients. I've discovered over the past 20 years that this voice comes from "Parts Unknown" within us, and it wants us to stay stuck in "figuring out WHY it exists" so we never grow and evolve, and we instead just stay like hamsters on a hamster wheel. Instead of getting stuck trying to find the source of our inner villain, I've found the solution is to FIRST accept that's it's OK that you may never know. Then focus on this TRUTH: the imposter voice isn’t your true voice—it’s a liar, and its ONLY purpose is to hold you back and steal your power--at all costs.
When you’re tempted to fall victim to its mesmerizing stories of your unworthiness, remind yourself that your imposter syndrome is not YOU, it comes from "parts unknown" that only knows how to steal your POWER. It's like a radio station that only plays THE POWER STEALING greatest hits, REJECTION, INFERIORITY, DEFEAT, SKEPTICISM, PERFECTISM, UNWORTHINESS, INCAPABLE, NEGATIVITY, POWERLESSNESS, WEAKNESS, DANGER, and many others. It doesn't matter if these greatest hits were written by us, someone else or from our past, present or future, our imposter syndrome's only purpose is to broadcast these power stealing hits on every channel in your mind when we are trying to improve or change ourselves--or even when life has knocked us down. Instead of letting it turn the volume up in your thoughts and repeat these messages in your mind, take your power back and tune into something different. Focus on your true creative self. You'll know its voice because it speaks life, love, hope, inner power, safety, acceptance, healthy feedback, and encouragement--just as a true and dear friend would in your time of need.
Your creative voice and vision carry weight, not because they're perfect, but because they're REAL.
We start to find real freedom from our imposter syndrome when we stop resisting the discomfort that automatically comes with difficult times, growth and trying new things. When we resist the friction that exists in our process of growth, transformation and change-- and want it to go away, that's when the inner critic gets louder and says, "See I told you--you can't do this"... "I told you this was a dumb idea" or "I told you things weren't going to get better."
The next time you feel that whisper of self-doubt, choose courage. Speak up. Share your ideas. How you communicate is directly connected to your ability to manage your inner critic and imposter syndrome. Learning to do this doesn't take a long time, it actually just requires you to STOP believing that the inner critic and your imposter syndrome offers healthy advice or the truth.
You'll regain your power when you accept that the imposter syndrome is just power stealing affirmations being broadcast at HIGH volume.
When you retake control of your mind you will begin to "hear" your true creative self's ideas and advice. This is the beginning of you starting to see you have more power than you think, even when the inner critic tries to hold you back.
Imposter syndrome can feel like an invisible hand, holding you back from expressing your true self and making the impact you’re capable of. I know what it’s like to feel that inner critic creeping in, making you second-guess your ideas, water down your message, or hesitate to share your boldest visions. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to stay stuck. Overcoming these mental traps starts with learning to be the leader of your own inner communication.
As a professional writer, published author, Emmy-nominated producer, and communications coach, I’ve worked with countless clients to help them unlock their voice and build their confidence to share it.
Communication coaching isn’t just about how you present on a stage, in a meeting, or on a podcast—it’s about how you speak to yourself, so you show up in the world as your best self.
Research shows that how we talk to ourselves shapes our confidence, clarity, and ability to communicate and connect with others as "leaders" not victims. When you understand that your inner critic isn't really in charge, and instead YOU are..... you free yourself to communicate from a healthier and more balanced part of yourself.
Through my coaching, I help you master the tools to clarify your message, overcome self-doubt, and connect with others in a way that feels true to who you are. Together, we’ll work on strategies rooted in psychology, communication science, and self-awareness to ensure you can speak with purpose and lead with confidence, in all types of environments. The transformation doesn’t stop there—these skills ripple into every area of your life, from building trust with your team to creating deeper, more meaningful connections in your personal and professional relationships. Learn more about my communication skills coaching.
If imposter syndrome has been keeping you small, let’s change that. It’s time to reclaim your voice, rewrite your inner dialogue, and step into your full potential. Communication is more than just words—it’s the bridge to your success, and I’m here to help you cross it. Let’s get started....sign up for a free discovery call to learn how I can help you unlock your power of clear communication.
Honest, balanced and healthy communication with others and ourselves always wins!
Shari
Here's a great article that even though it's 10 years old it talks about the secret that most people are just winging it and we are comparing ourselves with people that just "look" like they have it all together. Read here
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